We here at Bad Kerning love to mix up the rules in games sometimes, including in our own Sell Outs (we have a huge list of alternate rules available in this post). Here’s a few new rules to try at your next Monopoly get together that will ensure that no one asks you to play Monopoly ever again!
Each turn must start with a dance break to loosen up.
All pieces must be referred to by their full, formal names, i.e. “the blue car,” not just “the blue.”
Players are encouraged to talk in exaggerated accents and make inappropriate jokes.
If a player rolls a three, they must make a sound like a barnyard animal of their choice.
If a player lands on a “tax” square, they must perform a karaoke song of the game owner’s choosing.
If a player lands on “jail,” they must take a shot of vinegar.
Players may only move their pieces with their toes.
If a player lands on a “chance” square, they must recite a Shakespearean sonnet.
If a player lands on “Go,” they must perform a stand-up comedy routine.
Disclaimer: These rules are meant to be humorous and not taken seriously. Play at your own risk!
We love alternate rules where we can get them, and Sell Outs has plenty! Feel free to implement these rules for the whole group in a session of Sell Outs (“Let’s play Two-Bit Sell Outs”) or on a per-player basis (“I’m going to be a Brainless Sell Out”).
Draconian (For large groups, shorter games, or heavier discussions)
One player gives a pitch for their business selling a product.
Every other player becomes a judge (Dragon or Shark).
The pitching player should present their product as a business idea.
The judges can ask questions about the business or product.
Tally the number of interested investors after each pitch. Most investors wins!
Two-Faced (Suggested for Large Groups or Teams)
Too many players? Team up, combine your hands and make your buying decisions and pitches together!
Collaborate on what product card you will use together, but each player contributes a feature from their hand in secret!
Lying (For people who like bluffing games)
Players do not reveal the cards they play.
During the pitch, Sellers can lie about modifiers, or be completely honest. (If you have bad feature cards, you might choose to make your product more appealing this way).
The Customer can either buy a product or call false advertising.
If the Customer calls false advertising, the accused player reveals their feature cards, and if they lied during their pitch the consumer keeps the problem card. If the Sellers did not lie, that Sellers gets the problem card.
Feel free to include these overcomplicated Lying rules for adding some drama to the game as well:
False advertisement!
The Seller can offer a deal for the Customer to drop the accusation.
If a deal cannot be made, the lawsuit goes to court.
The Lawsuit
All other players except the plaintiff and defendant become the jury and judges.
You can bribe the jury to vote in your favor!
The jury members do not need to honor the terms of a bribe! But you probably won’t make any friends that way.
The Seller and Customer may make a case to the jury.
After all cases have been made, the jury votes. It is recommended that the verdict be announced out loud to all players, even if everyone already knew.
The jury decides the penalty, and it must be paid right away. The winner collects anything the jury awarded to them, and everything in the reserve.
Discovery!
Playing with the Sneaky variant? The consumer may file for Discovery! by paying $3 to the reserve. The Seller must hand out their modifier cards to members of the jury at random. Only give each jury member one card. Some members may not get cards, and some cards may not be handed out. This is fine.
The jury should not share the contents of the card, but they may ask a question about the pitch.
Greedy (For people who like complicated rules)
Grab some poker chips or other tokens you have a lot of available. This is now money.
Everyone takes three money to start with.
Every time you become the Customer, you collect your salary, equal to 3 moneys + one for each product you have sold so far during the game. (Hide money because it can have an effect on the sale.)
The Seller must reveal the product’s price at some point during the pitch.
Instead of winning the problem card, when the Customer buys the product, they must pay the price given to the Seller, and the problem card may be discarded.
At the end of three rounds, the player with the most money wins!
Two-Bit
Instead of drawing one random Feature card during your pitch, draw two. You can play one or both Features on your own card. If you hold on to one, you can play it on another player’s product during their pitch.
Dirty
Hold on to the products you buy. Add these products to your options of products to sell to other players.
If playing with the Greedy variant, add a Used modifier, using half the product’s original value, but the same quality of life!
Cheap
Haggle! The rules of the haggle are up to you! You can choose to allow anything to be offered in a haggle. Want to bribe the judge with $2, another card from your hand, and a backrub? Who are we to judge?
Ignorant
Make up your own rules variant or play a different way altogether! You own the game, it’s your responsibility now.
No-Good
Have the consumer draw some products for their problem and choose one. Each seller then has a chance to apply features to the product and sell the same product to the consumer.
Brainless
Draw your product and features cards at random, and sell whatever you draw!
Dickless
Use only features from your hand.
Hopeless
Ignore the regular rules.
Play Cards Against Humanity style, except use products instead of black cards, and features in place of white cards.
Heartless
Ignore the regular rules.
Play Superfight style, except you are the fighter, and your product is your weapon.
Rotten
Hold onto all of your cards unless you sell one.
Do not draw new cards when you sell one.
Play until someone runs out of cards.
Shipping for Sell Outs and Sell Outs Traveling Salesman Edition is FREE to the US! Dismiss